Sparing The Rod

The rules of parenting have changed. Remember the good old days when you could discipline your kids in public without getting arrested or deal with some yo-yo at Child Protective Services? Now all I see is mommy counting to three, while the kid is thinking "She's got to be kidding. I don't give a damn about her counting! I don't give a shit about "time out" either!"

My skin starts to crawl and I break out in hives when I'm in the grocery store and little kids are whining to their oblivious parents about what they want….now! Or kids are running through the store aisles and pulling merchandise out of its packaging. When my children were little and we saw kids blow off their moms at the grocery store, my kids would look at them like they were crazy as they gave them the look. "You're lucky you don't have my mama 'cause she'd kill you!"

I always told my kids that I was crazy. I don't know, it seemed like the best way to impress the idea upon them that I was fearless and invincible. 'Cuz crazy folks seem to have a strength that normal folks just don't have the guts to muster up. I also wanted my children to know that I was crazy and fearless enough to protect them and their interests. Like the time I kicked the hell out of a cab that almost hit my kids in a school crosswalk.

Today, kids run the program and parents are cowards. They acquiesce to the wants of their children as if they'd pass out from "I want it fever". If kids today don't get what they want, you'd think that they'd have to be hospitalized for a terminal illness: Ididn'tget it-itous.

Somebody told kids that they had rights. The only right they have is to remain silent. Since when did a kid have the life experience to run anything? I remember Anthony (played by Billy Mumy) in that Twilight Zone episode "It's A Good Life" where he made that guy a jack-in-the-box because he thought he was "a very bad man?" Why was he a bad man? Because he was sick of being controlled by that bad assed kid!

There was no such thing as a Super Nanny when I was growing up. The Super Nanny: and that's the reality. It all but sums up the parenting style of today.

I grew up in the time where children were "seen and not heard". I knew my boundaries as a kid and stayed within them. If we were out and someone offered me seconds at dinner or dessert, my mother would give me this look. They call it "stink eye". I would politely say no thank-you to what I was being offered. Today I can tell which adults grew up with no boundaries as children. I can proudly say that I raised really good kids who knew how to behave when they went out. They were always a pleasure to have around when I visited my friends' homes or we went out on outings.

There have been many times when I have had to bite my tongue and give "stink eye" to other people's kids who misbehave in public places, but not always. Once, this kid kept begging her dad for something in the store. Now, I don't know where this comes from, but I always have the urge to shake the hell out of anything that whines. I got so tired of hearing this kid, I blurted out, "Damn, tell her she can't have that shit!" Of course the dad was insulted. He assumed that I didn't understand and didn't have any children. I replied, "Oh, I do. I have three in this store and you don't hear a peep out of them!"

There's a lot to be said about the real school. We learned that there were consequences to bad behavior. We would get a spanking if we misbehaved. There was nothing to second guess. When we got spanked, it was not child abuse, it was a message. I am not talking about extreme cases of child neglect and torture. I am making this statement for all that politically correct crap that gets drummed up and tossed in the pot with discipline.

Today, I believe that every school teacher out there should get a starting salary of at least $100,000 a year: and that's only tolerance pay, for babysitting bad-assed kids with no home training. Half of the kids who start school now can't even spell their names. If real school people back in the day misbehaved in school, they were "gonna get it when they got home". Not these kids today. The parents will go to school and threaten the teacher for trying to discipline the child.


This is what we are living now: parents who don't parent. They don't set ground rules. They think that the entire world should dance to the beat of their kids. They don't teach their kids that you don't touch things that don't belong to you or act out or have tantrums. The last tantrum that I saw, this 3 year old was giving much drama to her parents, who, the weak links that they were, attempted to use negotiating tactics. I couldn't take it anymore. So I said to the dad as I pointed to his three year demon showing out, "Is that yours?" The dad acknowledged the devil in the room and with surrender just threw his hands up. So, I said to him, "She sure is lucky you're her parent, because if she were mine, I'd give her a little can of whoop ass!" To which he said with disbelief, "I would never hit my child". I paused for a moment and replied, "I see. But when she grows up and you have a bigger problem on your hands she'll have no reservations about killing you!" I walked away.

Here's a little info for today's parents: Children are not ornaments or lap pets. You can't raise kids responsibly if you're afraid to say no, or buy them everything that they want. Wants are not needs. Children require guidance, nurturing, boundaries and love. And here's a little info for kids: The tantrums and bad behavior that worked with your parents isn't going to work out there in the real world. You're in for a big reality check.

I think that the hardest thing I had to do and my greatest accomplishment was raising great kids. Yes, we had our normal ups and downs. The goal in raising kids is to raise them to be responsible human beings. Not these monstrous little beings who'll turn adults into jack-in-the-boxes and "will" them into the cornfield.