Ring Ma Bell

Remember when Ma Bell broke up in 1984? It was no longer the monopoly that it used to be. Enter Verizon. Now if that ain't a bit of a monopoly! They are everywhere, but are they anywhere? I have to stand in line with everybody else complaining about their internet and phone service. They are one company that makes it quite clear that they don't want to talk to you. I've called 8 times in a half hour and was told by the virtual girl that my call couldn't be completed. This after going through a b-zillion menu options, that evidently lead to nowhere. Every number they give you to access them leads to the same place! I earned my right to be in the Guinness Book of World Records when I was on the phone for 7 hours trying to work out a peace summit between Vonage and Verizon.

To their credit, I must give Verizon points for the FIOS internet service. It's excellent, but—it all seems like a set-up to me, because as I see it, they're using their "high speed DSL", which I have been informed is basically dial-up and horrible, as a means to getting everyone on their more expensive system: FIOS.

First thing is when you call them to discuss your account, the rep will ask if they may have permission to access your account. Well, dah! I'm calling them about my account. Why am I calling again? This is not a social call. So, I asked the phone rep, "Why do you guys always ask me if you can have permission to access my account if I'm calling about my account?" The rep, says, "I know," then chuckles. At that point, we both laugh and I tell him that this is great blog fodder.

I think the stellar point of the conversation was when he was checking something on-line regarding my account and he says "Bear with me, my connection is kind of slow." He admitted that they don't have FIOS there! Now ain't that a bip! Damn! If I didn't laugh at that one! Here I am talking to the internet service provider and their own reps have Verizon's cheesy "high-speed" internet!

Before I switched to FIOS, my DSL would go out every night between the hours of 7pm and 12 midnight. It were as if I were getting rationed internet time. I've gotten responses from their customer service people as ridiculous as: my modem is over worked and tired. I got several credits because I had no service. Every time I called, I think I was calling some hut in Pakistan, where the person on the other end tried to kill his accent to sound more American. There were many times where they didn't understand the technology issues clearly because of the language barrier.

But the message is clear. Verizon is looking to be everything: TV provider, phone, internet. It looks like the market is gearing up for a competition. Because when all is said and done, there will eventually be one company and we'll all be singing the Theme to Welcome Back Kotter to old Ma Bell reborn.