And the verdict is…Jury selection: no way out

I think more and more as time goes on, everyone will have to serve on a jury at least 20 times a year, based on how much crime is going on. So I open my mailbox and there it is: a summons to serve jury duty. When the hell do I have time to serve on a jury?

So, now I am working on ways to get out of it. As I'm reading the back of the jury summons there's an option to be excused or transferred. Let's see:

1. I have a physical or mental incapacity that prevents me from serving. Well, that might be true. I physically don't feel like wasting a perfectly great day or a few) and I get mental at the thought of having to serve on a jury.
   
2. I have a personal obligation like a dependent. Well, that may be true to. Since my kids are grown and gone, I have one dependent left and that's me.
   
3. I have no reasonable means of transportation to the court location. Well, can't get out of that one. I have vehicles and they know it. They picked me by my driver's license, so this isn't an option.
   
4. Other reason. Breastfeeding a child will qualify for postponement of service (Please explain in Section D). Well, can't use the breastfeeding defense. Well, I could say that—no, never mind. I plead the fifth.
   
5. Financial hardship. (Failure to properly explain may cause automatic qualification for jury service.) Ok, did anyone explain to the Court that we are in a financial crisis all over the country right now? That would qualify maybe since everyone is getting jacked one way or the other. Don't they get that serving on a jury where you get fifteen bucks a day creates a financial hardship? The court gets a freebie on the first day and you won't get paid for that but you will get paid for the subsequent days. They also give you 34 cents per mile which doesn't kick in until the second day. And you only get paid for one-way travel.
   

Now what I find amazing is that if you want to explain the reasons in Section D, and you're over 70 years old, you have to explain your medical condition. Now I'm wondering if the court gets to decide what medical condition is okay?

Then they have this Section E. Medical Excuse/Transfer. Okay, so if you're under 70, a doctor must complete this section. But here's the kicker. If I get my doctor to answer this questionnaire, he may be called in to testify before the Court about my inability to perform service. So if my doctor were like to say I am hormonally unbalanced, then they would want to know when I may be able to serve. The answer: never.

Okay, so I have no options. Well, there are two left which make you exempt. If I were convicted of a felony: that means I have enough time to try to rob the bank that got a bail out within a month. Or I could become a peace officer, which means I would still be in the police academy when the date for me to serve comes around.

Now if you don't respond to the summons you will get fined up to $1500. How come they just don't fine you $15 per day kicking in on the second day?

Crazy thing about being forced to serve on a jury, if you don't report on the first day of service you could be fined, put in jail or both. Then somebody else will be picked to serve on the jury to decide what to do with you about playing hooky in court.