Walk This Way

Walking is a great way to chill and get with your thoughts and basically plan your day. So this morning, as I am enjoying the brisk, chilly November air and gathering my mental "to do" list, I hear a sound like a bird. It wasn't. It was a man in a car cruising on the main street where I was walking, trying to get my attention. I turned at the sound, ignored him and continued on, approaching the huge, wide open parking lot where the movie theatre and other businesses were. As I'm looking toward the parking lot deciding which way I would exit, here is this guy in the car waiting for me on the other end! So I went the other way. Good thing I'm in good physical shape and can run. Was I scared? No. But I was mad as hell. For him to go through this trouble to try to head me off was an indication that he had done this before. I guess he thought he was gonna get an early morning piece of ass and then throw me away like a ragdoll.

How dare he think that he was going to intrude on my life and take my right to my own personal space! My thoughts were basically, "Hell no! No one is going to hear about me on the news. I am NOT going to be a statistic. I am NOT going to be a missing person. It ain't gonna happen." Years ago, in my youth I had my palm read and was told I had an extraordinarily long life line. I was not going to let them be wrong about that!

This is the thing about "Life As We No Longer Know It", predators out there believe that they have the unalienable right to you! I'm not a victim and am pissed off about the many people who have been viciously taken and found dead days later. So here are my common sense tips on walking or running. It doesn't even matter if you're walking with someone. Predators may see it as a two for one sale on the victim smorgasbord.

• There is no such thing as a safe neighborhood. Safe neighborhoods only exist in the movies, because the screenwriter wrote it that way.
  
• Avoid greeting people. I know this is a tough one. It's not worth a "good morning" if it could lead to danger. Trust no one.
  
• Don't take shortcuts. Shortcuts may be easy, but sometimes they're not well travelled and can "hem" you into a place where you can't get away.
  
• Don't walk with an IPOD or MP3 player. You may be engrossed with the music in your ears, but it renders you totally defenseless.
  
• Use common sense. Don't think that anyone will help you if you're in a bind, because a lot of times they won't. You have to depend on the only person you know well and that's you.
  
• Don't walk at night. No brainer. Talking on a cell phone at night while you walk will not ensure your safety.
  
• Trust that first instinct. You know, the one we always seems to blow off.
  

So, in review, here's my memo for anyone thinking about abducting me.

• I am that crazy bitch who is too much trouble to abduct. This is not going to be easy for you.
  
• I have no qualms about shooting you and if I do, I'll make sure that you don't have the opportunity to do this to anyone again.
  
• Black women don't make the best victims.
  

It's been almost 28 years ago, that a friend of mine was abducted off the street walking home from work at night. It was an unbelievable experience for me because she was staying with me and came in at two o'clock in the morning. Yep, she lived to talk about it. So here she is making a phone call to the police, not even telling me what happened. I had to hear the conversation. I got up to see her hands nearly shredded from a carpet knife. She had put her hands up to her neck, palms facing out to keep he attacker from slitting her throat! She told me that she saw the guy standing by a car on a very main, very well-lit street in LA. I asked her why she stayed on the same side of the street when she saw him there. She just shrugged, she didn't know. The guy spoke to her and had the knife in his hand as she approached and told her if she knew what was good for her, she'd get in the car. So- SHE GETS IN THE CAR!

It was the most terrifying night of her life. She ended up in a not so good area of LA and had escaped from her captor once, bleeding from the hands. She approached someone for help who said, "Don't put your hands on my car and mess it up!" Unbelievable! Well, her abductor caught up to her and told her to get back in the car and she did! No one came to her aid. WTF! He finally let her go. I don't remember the details of how she got home. It's been so many years.

We have to be in control when it comes to protecting our lives. We can't just assume that we can get protection from anyone, not even the police. We have to be preventive with regards to our own safety. There are so many criminals on the streets we have to sharpen our radar for our own protection. They think they have the right to hurt you, but you have the right to live.

Every day I grieve for the people who don't make it; who leave this world when they have the probability of so much more life ahead. This is "Life As We No Longer Know It" and it's just the reality of our times.

Real Film: “Precious”

I love filmmakers who dare to "go there" with their work, who aren't going to push the "feel good" element that makes it okay when you leave the theatre. In reality, life is not a movie and sometimes things don't work out okay. Precious is not the kind of film that can be made "feel good". It exposes some of the starkest elements of the things we all wish would just go away, that we can bury in an unassuming place and not confront. "Precious" is a film whose time has come. Brilliant, dark and decadent, I found myself immersed in the middle of broken lives and dreams, not watching a film. This is one that you can't say, "It's only a movie", because there's just too much reality in it.

With "Precious" we are in a jarring multi-faceted world of hopelessness with hope, dreams without promise and escape without leaving. Mo'Nique's portrayal of Mary, a sadistic, disheartened mother is worthy of every accolade and award available for a performance that was bare bones and in your face. She pulled her portrayal from an abyss that was so dark, it was terrifying. One can see that Mary, in her abusiveness is the victim of her own concept of self-worth, which she attempts to pass on to her teenage daughter. I found symbolism in the way that Mary thrived in her dark apartment with the curtains drawn, but once she was later brought into the light we can see a little of who she was before her world had crashed and beginnings of her victimization. It appears that from Precious her mother and grandmother, a cycle was being set into stone.

I don't think there was one time that I saw anyone "acting". Everyone in this film "worked" their part. I didn't see Mariah Carey, I saw Mrs. Weiss, didn't see Lenny Kravitz, I saw Nurse John. As for Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe, I can't say enough about her being a natural. She played Precious with a familiarity and understanding that is breathtaking for a new talent. I have seen many of her interviews and she is a charmer, far from the "heroine" that she portrays. Yes, Precious is a heroine for her endurance and perseverance in spite of the odds against her.

For me it was well worth the drive to see it, as it opened on Friday, November 6 with a limited run in theaters. That's the only thing that I didn't like about this film: an assumption that it couldn't pull an audience if it premiered in all theatres. Precious is one film that does not have to prove itself. I was a part of an audience of people from all walks of life and I was drawn to it from the first time that I saw the trailer. I'm sure I'm not alone as a viewer who fell under its spell.

As I sat in the theater with my oldest daughter, (my movie watching buddy since she was a kid), a myriad of feelings came to me. It was wonderful to watch this film with her, knowing we would be passing the Kleenex, but more so the blessing of being there with her; the sheer contrast of the film's mom and daughter relationship in a life that is not always good to all people. Precious is worth it on every level.