Microwave Love: The Bachelor

My Wiz-Doom for today: You shouldn't bake a cake in a microwave. In other words, love doesn't happen in an instant. For ABC's Bachelor,Jason Mesnick it apparently does. This guy is the most fickle, weakest character I've seen on or off reality TV. And here we go---he's a crier. I have a lot of problems with "love pageants". First of all, there are 25 girls to choose from so until it gets down to the final two, there's a lot of lip locking with a lot of different women, which seems a bit risky.

I figured though that Jason would choose Melissa over Molly. Melissa who described herself as always being the "dumpee" ended up right in that space once again. So, if Melissa always ends up with the same result, it appears that she needs a little time for introspection. I tend to believe that if something continues to happen to you, you're the problem.

I could see that this girl wanted to be in love. To what desperate ends are women willing to degrade themselves to be chosen by a man and find love? Apparently many. Love takes time. It doesn't happen in a Jacuzzi in front of a camera, or spending the night alone with him to "get to know each other". It doesn't even happen as quickly as it took the producers to film the show!

So what did Melissa do that was so horrible? She became a self-sacrificing dishrag in desperation without any practical thought to protecting the investment of herself. This guy Jason proposes on national TV and that in itself hokey. She tells him how much she loves him countless times before the engagement moment and all he can say is he's falling for her. Translation? Evidently, somebody took a trip, arrived at their destination and the other party was still travelling to get there.

From a guys point of view this whole love pageant charade is the next best thing to having a harem. There really is nothing in this for the women, but the ultimate reveal of how shallow they make themselves to appear perfect, competing for the attention of one man. This is known as the bullshit zone. When you're in the bullshit zone, there is absolutely no clarity anywhere on the horizon.

So what's up with Molly? What I found disturbing about her was that she kept bringing up the concept of fantasy. Girls need to stop believing in "the prince charming theory" of falling in love and get with the reality. Love takes time because two people's rhythm with each other takes time. If they have no rhythm, they will not have a love connection. You can't force love. You can't have what you believe are the perfect ingredients with perfect surroundings and because he's there and she's there they have a connection between them. Love is energy that manifests in its own time.

Both Melissa and Molly sacrificed themselves by professing their love to Jason. I think that saying "I love you" is like a wayward basketball being tossed in a volleyball court by a whore in a wedding dress. It's said so much it's lost its meaning as a sacred proclamation between lovers. These days it's something people say out of obligation to give another a sense of being wanted and to absolve any insecurities. Love doesn't have to be affirmed by being said or heard. Love is an action word.

I found many things about this season of The Bachelor disturbing. First, I don't think that Jason's young son should have been a part of any of these scenarios. This kid is only 3 years old and to be introduced to these two final contestants must have been very awkward. It had no place in the show. I wonder how many times they had to shoot those scenes! I also found it disturbing that Jason always kissed his son on the mouth or asking his son to give him a kiss. I don't recall many men bonding with their sons in that way, even as little boys.

What I found totally distasteful was Molly's acceptance of giving it a go with Jason, ignoring Jason's appalling treatment of Melissa and even when he admitted to her the horrible thing that he did to Melissa. There were so many red flags that it could've been Flag Day. So what Molly did was settle for a jerk.

Don't women get this? Jason is certainly no prize, as his behavior clearly shows, but for a woman not to think that if he did that to someone he would do it again is the biggest show of desperation Molly could ever reveal. The best thing that Molly could have done was to tell him to get lost. But ignoring her instincts and the questions she had in her mind and going for it may be to her regret. The jury is still out on that one. You would think that Jason was the only man left in the world. It gives me hives to think that she believes there are no other options.

I must applaud Melissa's parents for not wanting to be meet this guy on camera. It seems that they weren't havin' any of it. I wouldn't either. Move over Barnum & Bailey, because this turned out to be a three ring circus.