Being Played By The Game

 

 
What scares me is the look of this unit with two lenses close together that peer at you like eyes;  ominous and all seeing.  Please tell me it isn't so…Here's yet another way that retailers can peep into your keyhole. Microsoft's concept for X-box called Kinect where an individual is the remote rather than holding a remote is a real privacy whore that advertisers can use to spam you even more by being able to "demograph" (my word) you.

Ironically, the ad campaign's slogan for Microsoft's Kinect is "you are the controller". But I think that they forgot to mention the rest of it: "while we watch and are controlling you!"

It's bad enough our information has been sold through Facebook and we've been bamboozled by fake apps and games that find an open space in our world and invade it. In the world of "Life as We No Longer Know It" it's about you and the privacy you're not entitled to.

So when of the  Microsoft foo foo who probably makes a fabulous salary at Microsoft presented the idea at an investment meeting,  he must have forgotten that what he spewed forth was against the privacy policy for Kinect users. Oops! While it has been denied that your data will be used for anything heinous,  I'm just questioning the method behind this madness.  You can't help but wonder about the Kinect's camera peripheral and who's on the other end. Does it disconnect when you turn off the gaming console? All I have to say is, don't smoke a joint and play this game!

I'm sure if Rod Serling were still alive there would definitely be an episode on Twilight Zone poking fun at this new reality. The reality is in living, moving color: your data being targeted, your friends, your kids and anyone who plays the game at your house.

Direct quote from Microsoft's Dennis Durkin:
"Over time, the Kinect camera's ability to distinguish between different users, and therefore tailor content to each user, will "help us be more targeted about what content choices we present; what advertising we present; how we get better feedback and data; about how many people are in a room when an advertisement is shown; how many people are in a room when a game is being played." Theoretically, the camera could also be able to measure the level of interest in a particular game or program, based on factors like which jerseys viewers are wearing (in the case of a sporting event)."

Did that statement make you feel like a test mouse in a maze? Not to mention, I seem to be finding more info on the Kinect system being hacked! Is nothing sacred for the unsacred? I think the more and more I'm finding out about this truth, the more the old board games like Monopoly and checkers sound infinitely more fun and private.

I have to find some interesting levity in the truth about "the eye". Rockwell, you may be on to something here! This song may be the next national anthem…

Or maybe the next Kinect commercial will feature the song by Sting and the Police.

 

There are probably millions of people clamoring to buy this product...It didn't do well with me at the live demo I checked out. It seemed that the camera wasn't working and the guy doing the demo had to resort to using a remote. (I know, a remote. That's soooo yesterday.)

All in all, I don't like the reality based look of the people one these games. The detail is too real especially interesting on the new dance game, Dance Central. The detail is so refined, you can see the wrinkles on the clothing, realistic belly-buttons and breasts...Just wait until the porn industry gets into gaming! I shudder to think what peripheral accessories will come with their games.

Love’s Greatest Heartbreak

 There is no greater silence, no greater stillness…Like a walk in the sun without a shadow…A quiet irresolvable silence that crashes the ears….  Finally the understanding of what forever really means,  I share the feeling of loss with all of those who have also felt the heartache of losing a mother. I hope  that here I can be the voice that can express what some of us cannot...

You look for a road ahead and sometimes it all seems foggy. Our lives come full circle only to understand the unwelcome embrace  of loss: a generation lost to  us in body  and fading to a mist of memory in spirit.

Every day, I listen and hear nothing but the silence as I look forward. The silence is deafening. I just can't make out what's ahead...

Somewhere the reality of this great loss does not surface for us until this- a reality it becomes. We know it will happen, but until it happens, we get lost in the surrealism of what we must accept. I understand the words "no more", yet my mother's soul is all encompassing. I feel her energy each and every day. 

My mother was fair of face, Monday's child, born March 7, 1921.  She was a beautiful woman  with a classic photogenic allure, poise and a winning captivating smile. Her tough as nails exterior concealed the squishy emotions that she kept protected behind a brick wall  reserved only for her own soul... To know her feelings one had to listen to the music that she enjoyed. It painted a canvas of her triumphs, defeats and challenges. 


When my mother was 72 years old, in 1993, she planned and paid for her funeral, burial and made her last wishes known; from the officiating minister to the song she wanted sung...I am consoled that I was able to give her everything she wanted and more.


I find legacy in the things that she left behind and how she handled unforeseen circumstances in her life. Throughout her 89 years, she spoke through her singing, her poetry, her heart and from her very spiritual soul. And while the world may be a little different because she is gone, it is certainly a better place because of the many lives she touched…

So many shared with me the wonderful things that my mother had done and what a purely generous and giving individual that she was. She never spoke of what she did for others... She just lived  her life's credo by the song she wanted sung at the celebration of  her life.

Whoopi Goldberg  made a most eloquent statement about losing her mother:

'I think I’m just sad sometimes because I think, 'Who will love me the way that she did?'

For those who have yet to know and still have your mothers, I celebrate their lives and accomplishments with you.  For all of you who have experienced this loss,  I embrace and comfort you as we find  strength in celebrating the greatest love of our lives.

What If? A Mother’s-versary Story

Twenty four years ago today, I had my second mother's-versary. It's my middle daughter's birthday today. While our kids "own" their birthdays alone we can't discount how important a day it is for moms, dads and siblings.

This pregnancy was a journey from day one. Having been insured with one of the top HMOs that fell short on their reputation, I became a number, stranded in a waiting room for nearly four hours and almost miscarried. 

My pregnancy was high risk, so I dumped the HMO.  A friend referred  me to a doctor who specialized in high risk pregnancies. I'll call him Dr. OBG. Dr. OBG is an incredible physician. He's a straight shooter and is always candid and honest.  It's what I respect most about him.

Having grown up in the Marcus Welby era, it only stands to reason that my idea of a great doctor is one that not only practices medicine in the highly unpredictable field of Obstetrics and Gynecology, but also has a human agenda when it comes to his patients. I've always been fascinated at how every pregnancy and birth is like a fingerprint: some similar, but never completely alike.

In one of our consultations, Dr. OBG advised me that a new test I had taken indicated that my baby may not live more than 5 minutes after birth. I had two options: terminate the pregnancy or  move forward. My response was unmovable and pragmatic. "I'll take my 5 minutes." And while I listened to what I was told, I was not going to terminate this life on a "may not".  What if that possibility were wrong? It was like looking up at a mountain peak without seeing over the top, knowing that there was going to be something on the other side.

There is more than enough growth in being a risk taker and I guess you can say that it will be my epithet. For months my pregnancy was wrought with near miscarriages and stresses. Dr. OBG said that I was a challenge to his career! When your doctor says something like that, all you can say is –dayum! I was in and out of the hospital. Each visit became longer than I anticipated and ended with me attached to  a fetal monitor. I was beginning to think of myself as a POW. I wanted to bust out. Oh—did I mention that I was working in a band? 

By the middle of July, Dr. OBG told me that I needed to go back to the hospital because the baby didn't turn in preparation for birth. There would be an intervention to turn her within the womb. So here I was back in Cedars Sinai Hospital with this on staff doctor who had about as much of a bedside manner as a piranha. I had to lay there while he attempted to turn my baby,  applying an inexplicable pressure on my abdomen and hear his conversation with one of his colleagues. Apparently he had almost hurt a baby in utero while doing a procedure. Angered and amazed at his lack of professionalism and being forced to hear his war story, I wondered if perhaps one of his skills was mind reader, because he would have heard my mind speaking. Do you realize you have a patient here?  It was as if I didn't exist.

Next consultation, Dr. OBG told me that the attempt to turn the baby was unsuccessful. Ya think?! In other words, this baby was intent on being born butt first, telling the whole world to kiss her ass! My only option was a C-section.  Dr. OBG wanted to make sure I wasn't intent on pushing a regular delivery and proceeded to tell me a horror story. He really had nothing to worry about because my goal was to have a successful birth. It didn't matter to me how it happened. So he asked me when I wanted to schedule to have my baby and I replied, "Right fucking, now!" I set the date.

I was coming into the home stretch, admitted and prepped for surgery. A C-section is major abdominal surgery, so I can't understand why now days women would want it as an option over a regular delivery. The anesthesiologist explained what he was giving me to deaden the sensation in my mid section. I had never done any drugs, so this was quite an experience for me. And, wow, it felt like someone had taken a huge meat cleaver and chopped off the bottom half of my body. I had to keep glancing down at my feet to prove it otherwise. 

He asked me if I wanted to be put to sleep. Negative on that option! "Absolutely not. I wasn't asleep when I placed the order!" My mother had been put to sleep when she had me in 1956.  I felt a little cheated that she wasn't awake when I hit the planet.  To eliminate my participation in this birth  and wake up from a sleep like a fairy tale and there was a baby  would  relinquish my power. Although I wouldn't be pushing, I wanted to be able to share this story as an integral part of the birth. And indeed, I was an active part, never dismissing the possibility of having only 5 minutes somewhere in my psyche. 

I was used to the fetal monitor and was hooked up to another monitor. I didn't know what was in those drugs they gave me, but I came up with a bunch of one-liners that would have been the envy of any stand-up comic. Dr. OBG explained to me what the monitor I was hooked up to was for. I was high as a kite and having a blast! After the monitor rendered a straight line, I commented, "Well, according to this monitor, I'm brain dead!" There was laughter in the room. I think everyone in the OR knew that this experience was going to be a little different. I had to push a positive agenda.

I observed everything, watched everything. Although prepared for a short entry and exit, I would hold this baby and say goodbye if I had to, but I wasn't seeing that as my vision after I peeked over the top of that mountain. I was getting close to the zero hour. I watched as my mid section was exposed and open. What an unbelievable visual. It was like they were setting a table with my insides, moving things around! Dr. OBG told me I would feel a little tugging as he pulled the baby from my midsection. I told him, "Doctor, just make sure you don't pull a rabbit out of there!" I was giddy about getting to this point, my moment of truth.

I had decided that if it was a girl I would name her Chelsea and if a boy, Keegan, but at 8:33AM on August 3, 1986 when I met her I said, "Your name is Chelkee (a combination of both names) Sunday's child had arrived! She was gray and looked like she had been packed in a sausage casing. It looked like her lips were all over her face. I  started laughing as I blurted out, "This is the ugliest baby I've ever seen in my entire life!" Everybody was laughing. It was a birth experience of pure team work with a great ending.

I was in recovery, coming down from the biggest high of my life. Dr. OBG came in and said, "You did it, kiddo!" I was overwhelmed with nothing but gratitude and respect for him. All I could say was "thank you" repeatedly. Later that afternoon, the anesthesiologist came to visit and said he had never had such an unusually pleasant and relaxed experience and he was just coming to see how I was doing. Nurses visited. Mine must have been the big story that day. Everyone was wonderful to me. 

I had delivered a healthy 6 lb, 11 oz, 19" baby girl. Dr. OBG and I reminisced at my last appointment. I always keep him updated with photos of the baby in utero that was a challenge to his career. We keep each other updated on our kids' milestones on every visit.

Having a great doctor is everything. He did a beautiful job on my body and I have no scars or war wounds to prove I had a C-section.  Dr. OBG didn't believe that this type of surgery should disfigure a woman's body like back in the day. The first time I got up and walked after  having the baby, it felt like all of my plumbing was going to fall on the floor! I look back and relive my birth stories on my mother's-versaries. I always told my kids: never work on your birth day because it's the only day that uniquely belongs to you.

Sometimes my mind goes: what if? What if I had embraced a "may not"? Chelkee would have never been a Girl Scout, won her award for best essay in grade school, never had the most beautiful wedding in the world or become a talented hair and beauty stylist and business owner with a successful salon. There is something to be said for mother wit and the magical, mystical connection you have with the human being that you carry in your body. It is as awe inspiring as a rainbow.

So, to my baby girl: Happy Birthday! This is your unique day and story…It was my calling to protect your life and I will do that until the day I die. 

Love, 
Mom

 

Going Charles Bronson

It's a new day, so I've been told. But there's really nothing new under the sun. Everything that's happening now has always been happening. We just have more visibility with it due to our technology. News hits the internet and air waves in rocket speed. Statistics are almost immediate. Most of us work hard, set our goals and achieve them with success while others sit around idle, waiting  to come and rain on our parade. 

There is more of this happening than not. These are the people who get egomaniacal defense attorneys who waste the tax payers' dime to defend these low lives, which I refer to as SPUDS. Their lawyers try to tug at our heart strings asking to us to consider how their defendants grew up disadvantaged and how they never really had a chance------blah, blah, blahshit! READ MY MEMO! If you were born into this world with a brain you're not disadvantaged. And shall I explain how the lotus flower grows from the murkiest  of conditions to grow a beautiful bloom, Grasshopper?

Every day I see victims who seem to be long forgotten. All of the sympathy seems to be dredged up for the perpetrator come judgment day for their crimes… I don't care what you've done as a creative entity; amassed fame and wealth in your career, you still must be accountable for your crime. Period. And you will. Doesn't matter how long ago it happened, it has been logged into the annals of negative acts against other people...

I get so tired of  low-life animals getting away with molesting and torturing children. My heart not only grieves for the tragedies of these kids, but I can actually feel their little hearts pounding frantically within their chests in fear. What makes it worse is many of these children are being killed by their own parents. We've got people who prowl around like wolves watching and waiting for the opportunity to pounce and destroy individuals who they perceive as  potential victims.

We work hard for our things, we can't even hold claim to ourselves, because somebody ultimately claims that, too. It's called identity theft. Do you know that when you try to find out who steals your identity, the thief's identity is protected? If that isn't a big WTF!!!!!

I know all you boomers out their remember Death Wish: one of my favorite movies. Charles Bronson was my hero. He played mild mannered Paul Kersey. His demeanor changed after his wife and daughter were brutally murdered in a home invasion. Kersey was so on his game that the police asked him to leave town! He was scaring the criminals! Now that's what I'm talking about! He really knew how to take out the trash! 

Charles was cool, too. He didn't do a lot of talking. His actions spoke louder than words. Now when I looked up the word vigilante and came up with the following definition: "someone who illegally punishes someone for perceived offenses, or participates in a group which metes out extralegal punishment to such a person." Whoever wrote that, I know where you coming from! So I'm sticking with Merriam Webster: a member of a volunteer committee organized to suppress and punish crime summarily (as when the processes of law are viewed as inadequate) Booyah!!!! That's what I'm talking about!

We need to turn the tide on crime; become proactive in our communities and team together to protect what we have rightfully earned and to protect the lives of our loved ones. Sometimes you can counsel a wayward wrongdoer until the cows come home. It's a waste of time. Only when a chord of conscience chimes in their psyche and the perpetrators are willing to acknowledge the depth of their responsibility with the crimes they've committed will there be any possibility of change.

Please let it be known that I'm not going down without a fight. I'm going Charles Bronson! I have no conscience for criminals. You will never hear of me fighting to abolish the death penalty. If you don't agree with me, you can stay in your lane and I in mine, neither of us disrespecting each other for our belief systems. 

I was raised with a solid ethic regarding right and wrong. When I was growing up I was taught that crime doesn't pay and that the bad guys get theirs. It's going to be hard to brainwash that out of me. I'm sure I'm not alone in my thinking. 

For some reason, there is a new train of thought where people who don't do anything with their lives and don't have any compunction about not working and achieving a positive goal feel  they are entitled to your shit! There is no cognitive thinking or regard for the people they victimize and oppress. 

I truly believe that the day is coming when we'll get tired of  hearing that the police can do nothing and the laws are swayed to protect the criminals due to technicalities.  When that day comes, watch out...There's gonna be some new sheriffs in town.I'm just sayin'....

Confessions Of An iPhone Virgin

First of all I must say that you should never say "Never!" How many times have I ranted against AT&T, which was holding me back from making this conversion? Many times, but I must say, while I'm not feeling AT&T, I am feeling the iPhone 4. I consider myself a professional shopper and before I buy anything, I do all the research. I have walked out on Sprint as if it were a tawdry lover and moved on with my life. On the advice of my firstborn, I was up before the sun and at the AT&T store at 4:30AM…No big deal for me, since I'm up early anyway. I arrived to end up the 10^th in line. Okay, that was good. So at about 6:30, the AT& T staff arrived and accounted for who was in line. They treated us to water and a breakfast snack and handed out T shirts. The Starbucks next door treated us to their new ice coffee and more snacks. Nice.

The store was open by 7:00 and they were taking folks seven at a time. I was out of there by about 7:45 and activated. This was just too easy…So as I got into my car and suddenly all of the troubles in the world were lessened,I was floating on cloud nine! Dayum! I felt completely unstressed and ready to make that call to Sprint to tell them to kiss my ass. OMG, I'm glowing…or is it just more radioactivity?

In making my decision to switch, I had already resolved in my mind what I was going to do and why I was doing it:

I had already dealt with the possibility of upgrading to the EVO through Sprint. There was a problem with that upgrade. There was double talk in their game. I'd researched the price all over the net and looked into the pros and cons of the phone. Quite frankly, I had misgivings about getting a phone that was so big, I could literally drive it. Anytime a phone comes with a built in kick stand, it kinda makes you wonder. The last kickstand I remember was on my bicycle.

The phone was going to cost more than $199 if I went through the Radio Shack store or the Sprint store. Now, I already had a $150 credit which I had banked on which would bring my costs down. When I got my Instinct (the hot number of its day) I paid literally almost nothing due to my upgrade credit because it was applied to the discounted price with an additional two years with their contract. When it came to the EVO however, Sprint took my credit and used it against their $499 list price which meant I would be paying over 300 bucks. Not good.

As a professional shopper who can squeeze a penny until it farts, this just was not sitting well with me. Now, mind you, The Radio Shack store had it in writing next to their EVO sample that the phone was $199 with an upgrade and 2 year contract commitment. That didn't sit well with Sprint and they handed me a different set of rules. I spent an entire day rationalizing the Radio Shack price with their customer no-service reps, but to no avail. I was even thanked for my loyalty and told that I had options when I told them I was going to leave. I had been with them for 9 years. Well---- you know what they say about a woman scorned.

The most important consideration was this, although Androids are in tough competition with the iPhone, they still have not arrived yet in my opinion. I didn't want another iPhone Imo (imitation) that's going to be obsolete within 6 months. I knew there would probably be another HTC phone with 2 kick-stands and a parking space within the next few months and I just wasn't seeing it. I rationalize that there is no point in investing in a phone that immediately depreciates in value. Not so with the iPhone. I like that they aren't always coming up with a new phone every six months. I like the stability and the ability to upgrade and still feel on top of the world a year or so later.

In fact, if I wanted to turn this into a business venture, I could have made a small fortune standing in lines and reselling them to the desperate! Seriously, the phone doesn't have a cheap, cheesy cell phone look and I like that it is well made and holds its own. I consider it more of an investment. It has more apps than any of the other phones and I like having those options. It may seem a little cult-ish until you've become a part of the iPhone experience. And while I stood in a line for two and an half hours, it was well worth it.

So, as I mosey into the sunset with all said and done, I look forward to the day when my daughters and I will come together and "bump" our iPhones in harmony in our Apple phone universe. Of course, the last time I did the bump it was a dance and it was the 70s, and the first time I bought anything by Apple, it was The Beatles White Album.

We’re Here For You

Whenever any corporation says they're "here for you", be wary!

Here's my love note to Chase Bank.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

J.P. Morgan Chase & Company
Attention: James Dimon: Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer
Office of the Secretary
270 Park Avenue, 38th Floor
NY, NY 10017

Dear Mr. Dimon,

This is to inform you that I have filed a complaint against JPMorgan Chase and Co. with the FDIC. And while you sit in your Park Avenue office with a view of the city, far removed from the everyday transactions that occur in the many branches of your banking establishment, I thought I would let you know why I have a complaint in the event that you do receive this letter and actually read it.

Now I know that Chase has a "Customer No Service Department", but I chose to start at the top because maybe I would get a response better than, "There's really nothing that we can do."

I have a client that pays me twice a month. Today when I deposited a check at my branch, I was told that 10% of the check funds would be held for 48 hours. This has never happened before when I deposit their checks, so this really made no logical sense. When I questioned this, the teller said there was no reason to justify the unexplained hi-jacking of my funds, that it was just a computer operation that no one had any control over.

Excuse me, Mr. Dimon, but knowing as much as I do about computer technology, (and I'm really good at it), computers don't arbitrarily do things unless they're programmed to do it. I have no answer but a receipt that reads, "Further review may result in delayed availability of this deposit."

The only one who could over-ride this 10% gangland strong-arm was the bank manager. She was not going to be in until tomorrow. When I inquired about the assistant manager, she was conveniently on a conference call for 30 minutes and I was told that there was nothing that she could do anyway.

So while it will take 10 days for the FDIC to investigate this illicit activity and by then the funds will be available I am questioning the ethics as to why your banking establishment feels they have the right to hold 10% of deposited funds in hock on the same payor's checks? I should mention here that they are a very large corporation.

When I read your contact page and saw the words, "Chase is committed to serving you the way you want" I wondered if this is the typical garbage that banks spew to engage the customer's trust or will you honor the written word in the contact page of your website?

When I got the receipt with the hold, here is what immediately came to mind. I believe that I can share this with you, Mr. Dimon. It seems that if you hi-jack the funds of your customers (you know 10% here, 10% there) on certain days from all of your branches, your banking establishment may be able to stock up on interest and make money. I know, Mr. Dimon, it's a bit of a stretch, but just call me a customer who is a conspiracy theorist at heart.

I thank you in advance for your attention to this matter. I have attached a copy of my complaint filed with the FDIC.

The Eye Of The Beholder

I remember one of my favorite Twilight Zone Episodes, The Eye Of The Beholder, where this woman was in the hospital; you know the one, her face covered, to see if the result of her umpteenth surgery was finally successful. And I wondered, as I listened to the vicious unflattering remarks made by Howard Stern and his sidekick, Robin Quivers regarding the incredibly talented Gabby , have we as a human race learned anything? Have we become so profoundly advanced in our technological developments that we have lost the ability to have an ounce of compassion for another human being? Have we gone to a point to see how viciously far we can go?

In wonderment, I ask the question: How is it possible to issue a verdict regarding the success of one's future career based on how they look? Not everyone in this life sucks on celery sticks and obsesses about gaining half a pound or plastic surgeries that make them look as emotionless as the old Clutch Cargo cartoons back in the 60s.

The problem is, we get so used to focusing on the unreal, that we can't accept what's real and end up needing the ultimate reality check. When that reality check comes in the presence of a young woman who doesn't fit the mold for the Hollywood black woman (light skin, light eyes and somewhat Europeanized features) everyone seems to be caught off guard. Its Gabby's self-confidence and self assurance that is stunning, because she seems to have more of it than most of Hollywood's "norm". We know that we won't be seeing Ms. Sidibe on Dr. Drew!

The message that the haters are giving is, "we are going to shake your self confidence and self esteem. We want to make you feel bad about who you are." Granted, there are weight issues, but tell her something that she doesn't already know, as evidenced from the interviews I have heard from the young best actress Oscar nominee. The problem is that Stern and his sidekick represent those who judge people by appearances. The problem with that type of character assessment may mean losing out on knowing a quality human being.

I'll never tell anyone that they can't accomplish anything. I have never accepted such an ideology for myself. I always say "go for it", because I want to look back one day and smile to remember when that person shared their idea. It feels wonderful to see where they took it. The positives that come out of all these negative projections of image and "can't do" is that it has given people hope where they may not been able to see their way through to completing a goal.Just look at Ms Ruby!

Now if Stern and Quivers can predict what Gabby's future may or may not be, they may be able to predict the lottery numbers or where our world will be in 10 years to the finest common denominator. It may even work for them if they see where they are down the road and what turn their careers may take.

The funny thing about life is, we really don't have all the answers and just don't know what really lies ahead which is why we incorporate faith and good will to those pursuing their goals for a positive result. I certainly hope for their sakes that Ms.Sidibe doesn't somehow through fate become the anchor on their lifeboats. You never know.

If we gave in to all the doubters out there, we wouldn't have some of the most incredible creations and inventions that we enjoy, because the persons who came up with the ideas may have decided to give up due to someone else, insecure within themselves having no faith. It takes faith to pursue goals, accomplish dreams and pave the road to personal pursuits.

I remember a poem by Edgar A. Guest that I learned back in 3^rd grade, never forgotten and chosen to live by:

It Couldn't Be Done

Somebody said that it couldn't be done,

But he with a chuckle replied

That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one

Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn't be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;

At least no one ever has done it";

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,

And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

There are thousands to prophesy failure;

There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,

The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start to sing as you tackle the thing

That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

The Down-Side Of Clever

I use the picture of the bat and ball, something which some of you may not know about and many of us remember, as a symbol of the way people throw out dumb commentsas if they were playing paddle ball.

"I made a mistake" is a weak link line. Apparently it's another way of trying to say that saying something stupid is as simple as writing 2 +2=3 instead of writing a 4. It's important that individuals be taken to task for the things that they say especially since the other side of these blatant irreverent statements are attached to hurt. John Mayer's March Playboy interview just follows in a long line of verbal fuck-ups that should not go unchecked.

I am appalled that someone so young would "go there" and keep the ignorance ball rolling. It's just not that easy to apologize and expect that everyone is going to accept it and move on. Life doesn't have a delete key or undo button, like a computer. I am more than sure that so many of these ignoramuses would push it were it possible. Since that option isn't available, they use the apology as a verbal delete key and quite simply I don't feel it. It's like saying "I can say and do what I want as long as I follow up with an apology." A valuable lesson here: You can't take back the things you say.

More and more people who claim to be reasonably intelligent seem to be more ignorant. I believe as a musician that you don't waste the blessing of creativity by blabbing on a non-creative, non substantive level, slinging hurt along the way. It takes away from talent and the creativity that should be used to bring people together.

I have one question and one question only. WHY DOES ANYONE SAY SOMETHING THAT THEY WILL POTENTIALLY HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR? I figure, if you take the time to apologize and understand what you said after you said it, you have plenty of time to understand what you are going to say before you say it.

Since, I am part of the last generation to know slavery and understand the undeniable human stain of the past transgressions in this country; I wonder why someone would continue to push this envelope? The emotional heartbreak of black people in this country has an indelible wound. To make ignorant statements with regards to race and blow it off shows a blatant disregard in the human scheme of things. There are so many who say that people need to get over slavery and the negative history that has taken place in this country. How can anyone move forward on any level when people continue to make tactless comments in an effort to "cleverly" push their careers or their own PR bus?

Now when Kanye West made his tactless comment at the MTV awards show, I wasn't feeling that one either. To me, tactless, ignorant, hurtful remarks can come from anybody. Tactless doesn't equal clever, no more than two plus two equals three. If you think that you have to work that hard at being clever, well, then-----you were never clever to begin with.

Merry "Holiday"

It's been a gradual thing, this campaign against Christmas. It's seems like a lot of people get all "Scrooged" up about the celebration of Christmas.

I remember when back in the day nobody walked on eggshells. But, now that we're in Life As We No Longer Know It, you would think that saying "Merry Christmas" is like using the "N" word. If you don't celebrate Christmas, fine, not a problem. Growing up and going to school with many Jewish kids, there was never a problem. I never had a problem with Happy Hanukkah, either.

Now though, we've come into this weird thing where Christmas can't be mentioned. It's really odd watching TV ads with the word "holiday" but you're looking at Christmas trees and lights. I applaud those that use the word "Christmas" in their advertising because it is what it is.

Okay, there are many who argue why Christmas shouldn't be celebrated, but it seems like all of this controversy over a celebration that happens only once a year is much ado about nothing.

I was watching a show where the characters were singing what they called "holiday songs", but some of the songs they were singing were religious in nature and the word Christmas was in the lyric. It was like eating a pizza with no cheese. Every year some town in the US is banning the use of the word Christmas in some school or organization or public venue. Give me a break!

Can you imagine how strange it would be if the words of Christmas carols were changed? Let's see.

"We wish you a Merry Holiday, We wish you a Merry Holiday, We wish you a Merry Holiday and a Happy New Year."

How about this one from A Charlie Brown Christmas? Oops, I mean, A Charlie Brown Holiday

"Holiday is here Happiness and cheer

Fun for all that children call

their favorite time of the year"

Ewwww! Okay, how about this one:

"I'm dreaming of a white Holiday Just like the ones I used to know."

Oh, I must share one more: The lyric to Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer

"Then one foggy Holiday Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

So in essence, what I'm really saying is why not let things go? Whatever is your flow is your flow. Really. We are majoring in minor things with this damnation of Christmas every year. I grew up with Christmas and that is what I wish folks. I also wish them Peace On Earth…It is not my intention to rain on anyone's parade for what they don't want to celebrate. But I don't think its good to rain on someone else's choice for celebration. Christmas is a tradition that has been celebrated not just in this country for many years.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Peace on Earth...

Free MP3 download: A Real Christmas Medley

A Real Christmas Medley: The Video

Walk This Way

Walking is a great way to chill and get with your thoughts and basically plan your day. So this morning, as I am enjoying the brisk, chilly November air and gathering my mental "to do" list, I hear a sound like a bird. It wasn't. It was a man in a car cruising on the main street where I was walking, trying to get my attention. I turned at the sound, ignored him and continued on, approaching the huge, wide open parking lot where the movie theatre and other businesses were. As I'm looking toward the parking lot deciding which way I would exit, here is this guy in the car waiting for me on the other end! So I went the other way. Good thing I'm in good physical shape and can run. Was I scared? No. But I was mad as hell. For him to go through this trouble to try to head me off was an indication that he had done this before. I guess he thought he was gonna get an early morning piece of ass and then throw me away like a ragdoll.

How dare he think that he was going to intrude on my life and take my right to my own personal space! My thoughts were basically, "Hell no! No one is going to hear about me on the news. I am NOT going to be a statistic. I am NOT going to be a missing person. It ain't gonna happen." Years ago, in my youth I had my palm read and was told I had an extraordinarily long life line. I was not going to let them be wrong about that!

This is the thing about "Life As We No Longer Know It", predators out there believe that they have the unalienable right to you! I'm not a victim and am pissed off about the many people who have been viciously taken and found dead days later. So here are my common sense tips on walking or running. It doesn't even matter if you're walking with someone. Predators may see it as a two for one sale on the victim smorgasbord.

• There is no such thing as a safe neighborhood. Safe neighborhoods only exist in the movies, because the screenwriter wrote it that way.
  
• Avoid greeting people. I know this is a tough one. It's not worth a "good morning" if it could lead to danger. Trust no one.
  
• Don't take shortcuts. Shortcuts may be easy, but sometimes they're not well travelled and can "hem" you into a place where you can't get away.
  
• Don't walk with an IPOD or MP3 player. You may be engrossed with the music in your ears, but it renders you totally defenseless.
  
• Use common sense. Don't think that anyone will help you if you're in a bind, because a lot of times they won't. You have to depend on the only person you know well and that's you.
  
• Don't walk at night. No brainer. Talking on a cell phone at night while you walk will not ensure your safety.
  
• Trust that first instinct. You know, the one we always seems to blow off.
  

So, in review, here's my memo for anyone thinking about abducting me.

• I am that crazy bitch who is too much trouble to abduct. This is not going to be easy for you.
  
• I have no qualms about shooting you and if I do, I'll make sure that you don't have the opportunity to do this to anyone again.
  
• Black women don't make the best victims.
  

It's been almost 28 years ago, that a friend of mine was abducted off the street walking home from work at night. It was an unbelievable experience for me because she was staying with me and came in at two o'clock in the morning. Yep, she lived to talk about it. So here she is making a phone call to the police, not even telling me what happened. I had to hear the conversation. I got up to see her hands nearly shredded from a carpet knife. She had put her hands up to her neck, palms facing out to keep he attacker from slitting her throat! She told me that she saw the guy standing by a car on a very main, very well-lit street in LA. I asked her why she stayed on the same side of the street when she saw him there. She just shrugged, she didn't know. The guy spoke to her and had the knife in his hand as she approached and told her if she knew what was good for her, she'd get in the car. So- SHE GETS IN THE CAR!

It was the most terrifying night of her life. She ended up in a not so good area of LA and had escaped from her captor once, bleeding from the hands. She approached someone for help who said, "Don't put your hands on my car and mess it up!" Unbelievable! Well, her abductor caught up to her and told her to get back in the car and she did! No one came to her aid. WTF! He finally let her go. I don't remember the details of how she got home. It's been so many years.

We have to be in control when it comes to protecting our lives. We can't just assume that we can get protection from anyone, not even the police. We have to be preventive with regards to our own safety. There are so many criminals on the streets we have to sharpen our radar for our own protection. They think they have the right to hurt you, but you have the right to live.

Every day I grieve for the people who don't make it; who leave this world when they have the probability of so much more life ahead. This is "Life As We No Longer Know It" and it's just the reality of our times.

Real Film: “Precious”

I love filmmakers who dare to "go there" with their work, who aren't going to push the "feel good" element that makes it okay when you leave the theatre. In reality, life is not a movie and sometimes things don't work out okay. Precious is not the kind of film that can be made "feel good". It exposes some of the starkest elements of the things we all wish would just go away, that we can bury in an unassuming place and not confront. "Precious" is a film whose time has come. Brilliant, dark and decadent, I found myself immersed in the middle of broken lives and dreams, not watching a film. This is one that you can't say, "It's only a movie", because there's just too much reality in it.

With "Precious" we are in a jarring multi-faceted world of hopelessness with hope, dreams without promise and escape without leaving. Mo'Nique's portrayal of Mary, a sadistic, disheartened mother is worthy of every accolade and award available for a performance that was bare bones and in your face. She pulled her portrayal from an abyss that was so dark, it was terrifying. One can see that Mary, in her abusiveness is the victim of her own concept of self-worth, which she attempts to pass on to her teenage daughter. I found symbolism in the way that Mary thrived in her dark apartment with the curtains drawn, but once she was later brought into the light we can see a little of who she was before her world had crashed and beginnings of her victimization. It appears that from Precious her mother and grandmother, a cycle was being set into stone.

I don't think there was one time that I saw anyone "acting". Everyone in this film "worked" their part. I didn't see Mariah Carey, I saw Mrs. Weiss, didn't see Lenny Kravitz, I saw Nurse John. As for Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe, I can't say enough about her being a natural. She played Precious with a familiarity and understanding that is breathtaking for a new talent. I have seen many of her interviews and she is a charmer, far from the "heroine" that she portrays. Yes, Precious is a heroine for her endurance and perseverance in spite of the odds against her.

For me it was well worth the drive to see it, as it opened on Friday, November 6 with a limited run in theaters. That's the only thing that I didn't like about this film: an assumption that it couldn't pull an audience if it premiered in all theatres. Precious is one film that does not have to prove itself. I was a part of an audience of people from all walks of life and I was drawn to it from the first time that I saw the trailer. I'm sure I'm not alone as a viewer who fell under its spell.

As I sat in the theater with my oldest daughter, (my movie watching buddy since she was a kid), a myriad of feelings came to me. It was wonderful to watch this film with her, knowing we would be passing the Kleenex, but more so the blessing of being there with her; the sheer contrast of the film's mom and daughter relationship in a life that is not always good to all people. Precious is worth it on every level.

Bad TV: Cougar Town

I had to watch ABC's "Cougar Town" twice to make sure I wasn't missing the point. Yep, this show stinks! So I wasn't wrong the first time I watched it! It is the weakest most horribly degrading piece of unfunny trash to premier in a long time. The storyline: a 40 year old divorced woman, played by Courtney Cox facing the reality of growing old which probably won't happen until she grows up.

This show struggled to be funny and I found myself gasping for air at every line. Okay, so I had to lose Life On Mars, one of my favorite ABC promising new shows (which premiered last year) for this? How old is the story of an older woman trying to snag young men? How new is the story line of Life on Mars, a cop in the middle of a chase ending up back in 1973? Okay, if you've lived in 1973 once and have to do it again knowing what you know, it's real different!

What makes Cougar Town so bad? It could be the obvious use of stereo-types and the negative portrayal of the male characters all whom appear to be empty headed boobs.

What disgusts me more is the relationship Jules, Cox's character has with her teen-aged son, Travis. The inappropriateness of her sexual humor with her son eerily crosses the line. It's clear that the son is more mature than his mother, who she relates to as a male buddy more than accepting her role of being a responsible parent. My favorite line in the show is when Travis says, "Why can't you just be a normal mom and stop torturing me?" Don't worry, Travis, all of us were tortured on this one.

If this story had to be done, it could have been done with a lot more tact. It's overdone writing that doesn't work and the characters are weak. . . Oh, did I mention the scene in the show where Jules is hanging out with her son and younger assistant(or who ever she is) at a high school game and ogles over a high school boy? At least the writers could have Jules interested in men in their 20s and 30s instead of having her hot for still pubescent high school boys who aren't really old enough to understand what a wet dream is really all about.

Then there's Jules' ex husband. He kind of floats into her home at whim. It proved to be a little more than awkward when he walked in along with their son to find Jules giving oral (or shall I say, feeding the snake) with a young conquest she met in a bar and bedded that same night. The cards are so stacked against this abysmal attempt to make 40 the new 20 that it makes me gag.

If I were to start a pool on how long this show will last, I would wager maybe four episodes. We'll all wake up one day, hopefully soon and say, "I had a bad dream that ABC aired this disgusting new un-funny comedy."

One thing for sure, this sitcom only achieves only one thing successfully: making both men and women look bad.

Cougar Town web

The New “Baby On Board”

Many of us remember "Baby On Board": those cautioning yellow signs that people put in their rear car windows. Then it became contagious and became "everything "to "anything" on board.

So what's the new thing in rear windows these days? The family decals! Those stick figure people with the names underneath. I don't know what you call them, but it looks like every family that has an SUV has to announce how many stick figure people live in their house and what their names are, including the family pets. Excuse me for a minute. Can I scream here?

I came real close, I had to bite my bottom lip not to go up to someone who had this "info sticker" on their vehicle and ask them did they know how dangerous this was. I just had to listen to the little voice in my head and obediently not go there. But I know I will. It's coming and I'm sure I'll blog about the experience.

Here's my perspective on this issue.I don't have to tell you that we're living in Life As You No Longer Know It, and we really must exercise caution with some of the simplest things that we do. People who put these stickers on their cars don't even realize how far out on a limb they are going with giving up personal information.

We're living in an age of predatory demons. These demons are so consumed with hijacking their prey and creating havoc, that they will stalk and study your every movement: what time you leave your house, what activities you're involved in, etc. They watch. They watch and gather everything they need to prepare for the "kill". I know, it's a bad choice of words, but hey.

I believe that these decals are making it easy for predatory demons to commit crimes such as child abductions, home invasions, whatever they like, because they have all the info in the rear window. Since most people show that they have a pet, the demons can schedule a time to distract the dog or whatever they need to do to gain access. They also know the names of the kids because innocent people, haven't considered that adding the kids names will undoubtedly erase the "don't talk to strangers" rule. If a stranger comes up to a kid and calls him by name, the child automatically assumes that he's not a stranger.

These stick people on the backs of rear windows are giving out too much information. It looks like a clever idea that gets shrouded due to the hazards it presents. With the way people are taking on other people's identities and abducting children, these rear window clings aka "info stickers" should have been the first thing that set off a red flag.

Spam: It’s not just for eating anymore

I remember when a virus was something you caught that was a little more than a cold. Now when I hear the word "virus" I think of computer health and not human health. The thought that some geek is out there getting his jollies by wreaking havoc on computers is like someone sneezing in a crowd with swine flu or something else contagious.

I remember when a bit and bite had to do with food like: I'll have a little bit of this cookie and a bite of this apple. But of course in life as we no longer know it, a bit and byte have to do with computer memory. A megabyte or terabyte is ok in the computer, but a mega bite when it comes to food simply means you're over eating.

Now, a gig used to mean a job. For musicians, the more gigs you have the more you can support yourself as a working musician. In "computer speak", the more gigs you have the more space you have on your computer to add more programs and files.

Back in the day, there was no such thing as software. Hardware was from the hardware store, but had absolutely nothing to do with computers; because when computers started to became mainstream, they only thing they could do with regards to software was let you play a game called "Pong". Looking back? How prehistoric!

Now, I don't know how this happened, but somehow, computer terminology started to sound a lot like food. When you're browsing the web there is something called a cookie that's just a message that's stored on your computer . When you visit a web page, your cookie is like a dog-tag that recognizes you. Sometimes you just don't want share your cookie! A lot of people like their PCs, but others love their Apples.

Spam started out in 1937 as meat made of chopped pork shoulder with ham pieces. Interestingly enough, 3.8 cans of Spam are consumed every second! So when we talk about internet spam, ( which is not for eating), but annoying the hell out of you, ten times the amount of spamming emails are "consumed" in a virtual mailbox every second than cans of Spam consumed. Spamming is actually a job and a duty for the people who send them. They're called spammers.

They inundate your email with messages on how you can make your penis bigger, to how you can make an income licking envelopes, or buy a huge house from the profits of your home based business. Anyway, it's the most annoying, aggravating garbage to inundate our lives with foolishness in the new millennium to date. Spam is your virtual pain in the butt.

The people who send out these insane emails have no regard for you. They don't care. It's just what they do and they feel an entitlement in doing it.They can even send out spam with "your" email address without you knowing it and your email could get shut down from the spam police!

We no longer have just a home address or a mailing address, but an email address. We no longer hang wallpaper on our walls, but put wallpaper on our desktops. A registry has now come to mean an area where your software serial numbers and passwords are stored on your computer, not just where a betrothed couple can share their gift preferences for their upcoming nuptials. Most of us enjoy a cup of Java to start the day, but without Java on your computer many programs just won't run.

Peripheral used to be connected to vision, still is, but it also means additional hardware that you add to your computer, like a mouse, monitor or external drive. No longer just a rodent, the mouse is a necessity when using your computer to browse or work with programs. When I Google the word RAM , I don't get the animal, or even a reference to the 1971 album by Paul and Linda McCartney, in the top 12 search results. I get Random Access Memory, which provides space for your computer to read and write data to be accessed by the CPU or computer.(central processing unit). I know, CPU sounds like a government agency.

So are you confused? I know a lot of folks can't get with this new fangled technology, but it was the baby boomers generation that really mainstreamed it. It was the generation of the parents of boomers that pioneered the concept of the computer. We are moving so fast in this technological age that we must get with the program. Pardon the pun.

In a minute, paper will be a thing of the past. Everything will be functionally virtual. I admit, I am a virtual girl in a virtual world. I love the technology. It's an integral part of my life.

Everything involves a chip, from the Ipod to the Bluetooth to the GPS to the bag of Keebler cookies. How did we get here? I don't know, but sometimes it's a good thing for the expediency it creates, but on the other hand can lead to ultimate confusion. So breathe---because this is the world as we no longer know it.

I will say that I appreciate the convenience of a computer for copying and pasting, or my favorite: hitting the undo button. Now, if only my life had had an undo button, that would've been great! People could undo bad dates, experiences and bad marriages. Instead of a divorce, you could just delete your spouse to end the marriage. Hmmm. I'm sure it's coming.

Flash is not just to add light to your camera in a darkened room when you're taking a picture, but a computer program that makes for great widgets and animation. We drive cars, but now we must have a drive to store our files. Memory is something that I think I need more of as I get older; more than my computers.

Word is not just a collection of nouns, adjectives and verbs that you say, but a word processing program that makes writing easier and how I write my blogs. Excel doesn't just mean "surpassing in accomplishment or achievement", but is a spreadsheet program that knocked a program called Lotus (which was also the name for a flower) into anonymity. An extension is something you ask for from the IRS to get more time to file your taxes, or an extra phone line in the house, but it's also used to describe a computer file type.

Joystick? I just remember the name of the hit song by the Dazz Band in 1983. But in computer speak, it's a device typically used to control objects on a computer screen. And while you have windows in your house, on your computer windows can crash or give you this message like "fatal exception". It means only one thing: your computer may have had a heart attack.

It's amazing how words have changed but really more amazing how we have to keep up with them to survive, especially when it comes to computers.